Wednesday, September 26, 2012

No Rarity

No Rarity
-Nylazzir-

I am no rarity. My story is no different from those of the lucky few who dedicated most of their time supporting their family. Technically, I am single, no kids , not married -never been. But I’ve lived a decade of my life carrying the same responsibility - partially at least.
I was thirteen, barely gotten past my childhood, when I started living independently. Due to our impoverished life, I was compelled to live apart from my family as I take advantage of free education offered to poor deserving kids. Within that four years, life has unfold harsh realities while I was unhurriedly living my adolescent years. Successively, I tried my luck again taking an entrance exam, and this time for a college scholarship. So to say, lady luck seemed to have been smiling at me then. I passed the exam and that means another 4 years of privilege. But it was not an easy one, believe me. I chose BS Mathematics from the short list of science courses being offered. It’s not something of my interest, not even close, but it was okay. Succinctly, I was able to finish the course and obtain a college diploma. Alas! I was ready to conquer the world, unfortunately, it was a small world with narrow streets.
For a starter, I land a good job with a salary just enough to send money home and pay my bills. It was like, I was working a day for a day’s expenses. Break even and deficit, more often, the latter. My younger sister’s tuition fee here, my family’s daily expenses there and unpaid bills everywhere, as against my meager income, how was I suppose to make ends meet? No, don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am simply assessing my situation for I am happy to be of help. Quoting one passage I’ve read somewhere that goes " When you are successful (if I am considered one), always remember that some time, somehow, someone gave you a lift that started it all. And that you are indebted to help other people the way you were helped." And in my case it was my family who made a gentle push, that started it all.

Taking Chances..Jumping off the edge..


Taking Chances..Jumping off the edge.. What do you say?
-Nylazzir-
 
"But what do you say to takin' chances? What do you say to jumpin' off the edge? Never knowin' if there's solid ground below Or a hand to hold or hell to pay, What do you say? What do you say? "
Just like the lyrics of that famous song, there comes a time when life pushes us to the edge of a cliff in which nothing is at stake but our future. Buying more time, we reduce our pace while making a mental note of it’s pros and cons. You stay put : you live, that is certain, but is that what you really wanted? would that make you happy? Jump off: would there be a solid ground to catch you? Would there be something to hold on to or would there be someone to catch your fall. Or would you end up losing everything you got? Often a time, we settle to whatever we have, in fear of taking the risk of crossing an unsteady bridge to get to the other side no matter how much we wanted it. A loser? Well, maybe, and admittedly I am one of them. Yes, I’ve been living my 26 years obsessing over my limitations. Settling to "so-so’s " in life, nurturing the pessimism I subscribed to that up until now there are still a lot of what if’s in my mind. When do I jump off the edge?..Honestly, I don’t know.